Is 3 minutes enough?

I’ve read another brilliant book. I’m not going to say what it is because the bit I want to share is kind of important and if you don’t know what book its from then it won’t spoil it – and if you do know it’ll be because you’re a step ahead and have read it already.

He loves her and she keeps saying no because they are best friends and essentially she’s scared. But she loves him too – make no mistake.

In the end he decides the most wonderful thing he can do for her is to make a moment; 3 minutes where he knows and she knows and he knows she knows. And she knows that he knows she knows. I think you get the idea…

They dance cheek to cheek in the moonlight. There is no Hollywood kiss. There’s acknowledgement and the lingering question of whether 3 minutes will be enough.. and supposing it will have to be – because it's all that is on offer.

The upshot is that it made me remember

It was freezing cold and I was unexpectedly late. We met in the middle of the dark street because she had come to find me. At this stage in our relationship I was deep in the expectation that things would never work and wondering what the fuck I was going to do about it. But not right then. Right then I was just walking.

Which is why it was such an unexpected thing to see her there; for her to look me in the eye and tell me it was on the horizon. For her to say she wanted me and she knew that her shot of happiness had my name on it. For her to say she was scared as shit thanks very much but also cold and hungry so would I mind getting my arse inside? For her to hold my eyes with hers and put her arms around me and kiss me on the nose.

I’m still wondering if 3 minutes is enough. Either way the answer is yes. It has to be.

Papa can you hear me?

I miss my dad

I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. Just this week there’s been a consultant from Australia staying with me who is in his mid 40’s or so and he has 2 daughters who you can tell he just adores. He gets this look in his eyes when he speaks about them; he is so proud of their teenage achievements and you can tell he’s enjoying being their dad now and can’t wait to enjoy watching them learn and grow. It’s really touching and I think its made me wistful about losing that particular unconditional love from my life.

When I was growing up, my dad used to ask me to sing for him- and for others like extended family and friends. I never would. I was always too shy; I wanted to shirk his pride – maybe because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I really wish I had indulged him a bit more. The old saying about not understanding exactly what you have until you lose it is so very true.

I miss my dad because he was a good man. He was wise and gentle and calm and if he didn’t know something – he would listen and learn. If he did know something, he would hold council but never shove something down your throat. Actually maybe I am placing him a little too high on a pedestal there; we always said his favourite phrases always began with “Now, what you should do….”!! But that’s exactly what I miss as well. I would have loved for him to be able to visit me here and have discussions about my thoughts and feelings about this place and this work. I would have loved to have heard the questions he would have asked – loved to be able to consider them carefully and see what he thought of my answers.

And right now, I would love his opinion on what I should do next. I’d love for him to teach me how to negotiate this path called life – the way he taught me to handle a car or learn the periodic table of elements. But now I’m laughing at myself because all I did when he was right there next to me teaching me those things was roll my eyes and wonder why I had to learn about the drive shaft rather than just starting the bloody car.. or why I had to make a silly riddle of something. If he were here and if I’d never lost him, I’d probably be complaining about the way he gives advice on everything.

I know he’s right here on my shoulder. And I know the gift he has given me is that he is the voice in my head that tells me to keep my cool or listen rather than speak – or walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. But gee I’d like to sing for him tonight. Or scratch his back and shoot the breeze a while.

And you know what? I can recite that bloody periodic table of elements because I still remember the way he taught me to do it. 24 years ago.

I think I’ll go and call my mum. It’s never too late to appreciate what you’ve got.

A Happy Anniversary

I've been adrift here in the Pacific for 12 months now. Wow!

On New Year's Eve, I was newly in love and off to face my dreams of an aid worker posting in the Pacific. Life was full of promise and I felt that the million miles of road I'd never seen was stretched before me with a crisp white invitation to step through its open door. I dubbed the year "2000 & shine". Truly, it has been an amazing experience.

Caught in the midst of each day however, life happened and maybe I wouldn't have said on each and every day that its been a blast - but looking back I have been having the time of my life. In between the adventures with the house and the truck I have met amazing people & had crazy adventures I could only dream of. And while all of that was whizzing around me, I fell in & out of love, was elated, disappointed, extoled, let down, loved, missed and maybe not so loved and missed. I cried, I laughed, I danced, I worked, I worried, I longed, I grieved and I gave thanks. In short, I haven't reached any particular destination - but I have enjoyed the roller coaster journey that has shot me up and down and round.

And through all this, I have charted the adventure like any modern day scribe; by way of the facebook status update. So sit back, relax, and enjoy 365 days of the pick- of- the- bunch adventures - www- style:

Silver

: Is celebrating her 1 year anniversary with the Solomon Islands Red Cross!!

: Has spent too much time with the kids from ze Fronch Red Cross.. for ze rest of ze day she will spek like dees.

:Has danced more in the last 12 months than in the previous 5 years!!..and loving it :-)

:will attempt to concentrate on her cup half full of ocean views rather than half empty of 5 hour blackouts...Ohhhmmmmmm......

:is going to be a fairy godmother! There's no tutus involved right? Just lots of pumpkins and wish granting?!

:and S tried hard to rally Solomon style support for the Melbourne cup with egg and spoon and 3 legged races... Still, hard to beat losing heaps at the TAB and spending too much on Tusday afternoon champagne.

:This is the best shot of the home made fascinator.. keep in mind it was supposed to have a Solomon Island theme. Knew I should have

gone with the gorgeous local orchids.. but it was a talking point and part of the "fashions on the field" fashion parade!

:just went down to the gate and found the guard sound asleep..zzz while a taxi engine was idling in his ear ..zzz.. and I was calling his name.. zzz.. and rattling the chain on the gate ..zzz.. oh yeah! I'll sleep soundly tonight! Zzzzzzzz

:is all about the Strategic Plan... be the plan.. be the plan...

:'s life is candy and her sun's a ball of butter.

:is laughing about the conversation she just had: "Hey iu needem somefalla something somewhere?" What kind of something?" "oh someone hem say iu needem something somewhere." "Which someone?" .. and on it went...!

:never thought she'd be having a conversation about safe cracking in pijin..

:is making Labneh from home made yoghurt

:was propositioned by an exceptionally good looking policeman whilst stuck in traffic he was supposed to be directing.. was tempted to ask.. "dude have you found the guys who broke in to my place yet?" instead, was mildly amused by the way Sols guys say "I love you" after 2 minutes!

:had to laugh at the shop keeper who just dropped my $20 note change on the floor, picked it up with his toes and handed it to me. It's almost as good as being offered a scotchfinger biscuit that's dropped from someone's armpit!

:just said goodbye to her lovely gran. Thanks for being such an inspiration xx

:: looky looky - I got residency! Only took 10 months..

:is sooooo glad Hexley is ok and came to our door after his boat sank and he got everyone safely to shore! Too many on-water close scrapes in one week!!

:has been teaching the office staff about "smurfs"... Little blue men??... one gele for 300 boys??.... spaka smurf??... hmm think we'll go back to singing the National Anthem next week.. might be easier!

::aidworker lesson #194..suck it up and smile! :-)

:thinks Honiara feels a bit more like home now Lib's in da house!

:has had a shitty shitty day that started with getting robbed at 5am... people stealing stuff from next to your sleeping head really creeps you out! But I've been touched by the compassion and kindness I've received..

:has a hole the size of a 10c piece in her ankle and is off to the Suva Private Hospital ..was I saying I enjoyed sloshing in the weathercoast mud last week?..what a legacy!

:has JUST been handed an emergency passport by the Aussie High Comm and is leaving the building .. now! I might have a watch, but these guys definitely have the time!

:'s passport is lost somewhere between the bumbling Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the incompetent Ministry of Immigration.. why does this always happen the week you are supposed to leave the country???

:has had another mind- blowingly awesome experience at the hands of Red Cross!

:is enjoying the new daily routine of singing the SI National Anthem with the finance staff.

:thought she'd buy some fresh mushrooms brought in from Australia.. until she realised they were $50A a kg.. then she stepped away from the veggies, clutching her paper bag and crying.. just a little.

:is going to a Melanesian sign language class tomorrow. Just in case learning pijin isn't enough of a brain snap I'm going to sign in pijin too. Oi Banj.. I'll check if "My scubadiver exploded" loses something in translation!

:is a bona fide idiot! Just had a small stack on the Red Cross motor bike.. next time helmet and shoes are definitely required!

:found out the pijin word for love- "dae dae" is the pijin word for death multiplied by 2…and is frankly, unsurprised.

:'s cashpower credit ran out - 36 hours without power :-( spending sunday arvo in a hotel foyer checking email! I'm so 3rd world, me!

:has found the most delicious new fruit. Locals call it an apple but it's more like a nashi pear infused with rose oil. Keeping the weird stone in the middle to plant in the garden. Maybe something mystical will happen!

:is enjoying the wine that Sal brought..and the brie, and dip, fountain pens, chocolate, yoghurt, aussie toiletries, new computer bag etc... very spoiled!

:thinks the clear blue water of Tangseliu Beach has restorative properties

:thinks love is so short, and forgetting is so long.

:Front page news - GUILTY! J and K found guilty of making awful red cross cake. See image on front page of Solomon Star – Sec Gen attempting to stab cake to kill it. Inside: Red Cross volunteers quake in their boots.

:has a smile wide as the moon. The volunteers next door are supposed to be carrying a heap of stuff to set up their 2 day festival and are sitting singing instead! There's nowhere I'd rather be for 150th celebrations!

:just fixed the cafe's blender with her teeth and a wooden skewer!

:is glad the cat came back.. little whiskey was MIA for 20 hours in our first week of bonding. Was thinking it might be a trend in all my relationships..
But the cat came back, she wouldn't stay away


-She was sitting on the porch the very next day
-The cat came back, she didn't want to roam
- The

very next day it was Home, Sweet Home.

:Bought flowers today at the market and it made me happy :-)

:is having a massive "tired"..despite the office renovations going on around me I can barely keep my eyes open! Only 20 mins til next blackout.. maybe I can curl up under the desk.. with the rats.. hmm...

:is feeling pretty resourceful.. got stuck out of town in a truck that wouldn't start.. popped the bonnet..scratched my head, hit the starter motor with the handle of a screwdriver.. and started the truck! yay me- plenty savy mechanic nah?!

:is exiting the maze

:is drinking wine from the bottle... Its been that kind of day (and to be honest.. its that kind of wine!)

:is sooooo glad the RAMSI guys got the truck out of where she well and truly bogged it on the beach!

:was the only white woman at the beach party and everyone wanted to dance. Life's tough!

:is so excited to have internet at home! its more expensive than downloading gold but who cares!!

:is contemplating life's crazy metaphors. Yesterday- a ripe melon on the doorstep and bananas on the tree.. today, both gone.

:lost the breaks on the way down the wet Tasehe hill this morning.. yes there have been some challenges this week.. all is well though.

:is devastated to learn of all the deaths in the Victorian Bushfires. Assessing flood ravaged areas here makes it seem surreal..

:is Missing In Action

:went to sleep in Brisbane and woke up in Honiara..strange

:is excited it's official; she's off overseas to work with Solomon Islands Red Cross. Hooray!

: could smile for Australia today!

: is waiting on the world to change